life at redwood

Preface: Before we begin…

So you’re thinking, “God, what is wrong with this idiot! He writes a preface and a foreword and actually expects me to read the damn page!”
You know what? You’re absolutely right! I am an idiot, and I do expect you to read all of this shit. Of course, unlike the foreword, I would like to address some not-so-pointless things in the preface. So, before we begin, let me say somethings:
Firstly, someone said they wouldn’t be a snitch or a total jerk, so don’t find it alarming if you find a healthy amount of profanity in my essays. Sometimes these words serve to add some color and humor to our lives and are an important way of expressing our opinions. I will try not to be too dirty in my language, but please bear with my language. Thanx.
Second, you’re probably wondering where all my cute little   are coming from. Well, I happened to find a cute little tool called writing pad in MS Word, and I just decided to put it to good use. Hopefully, Word x can view it. Art, I think can add a lot to a boring text-filled paper.
Third, I can imagine the class’ reaction to this assignment. I mean, one essay every a week is a lot, no matter how much time we have. Coming up with something to write is already hard enough, but doing it every week is really something new. I guess most of us just aren’t used to this kind of assignment, but this could turn out to be something cool. The thing is, where are all these things going to go? I mean, I don’t think Justin can turn out a newsletter every week. And even then, we won’t have enough room for every essay or even for more than 5. These things can get pretty mind-boggling, but I’m confident you have something up your sleeve.
Fourth, I think a school newsletter is great, but who’s gonna read it? Seriously. Half of us, we don’t even read the bi-monthly newsletter the school sends us. If we want readers, we’re gonna need a good staff. That, and good ideas… A school newsletter will be difficult, and the added difficulty is sending it to people. The other thing is that there’s not that much time left in the school year so there won’t be that many issues… maybe it’s a waste of time? Nah.
Lastly, I really hope you can come up with a topic that’s a lot less contrived next time. I really don’t like writing about school stuff, so maybe you can come up with something a little more arbitrary or abstract huh? Anyway, just some feedback for the future and I hope these essays topics get better…
Lastly, I want to tell the world something… I love… Keyboards!!! Stupid pencils… ain’t technology great? Writing with a pen hurts my fingers after too long. Keyboards forever! Bow to the power of QWERTY! Yeah! I just love to type, have you noticed. This is an awesome assignment! I get to practice my writing style so much! YEAH!
Sorry for making you read all that crap… I think I’ll start the essay now…
Wait, just one more thing… Don’t you feel so sorry for yourself? On Friday, you’ll have 23 essays to grade! Awww… poor Mr. M... hahaha









Life at Redwood…
“All is going well, very well, I couldn’t ask for anything better - so why do I hate my life?”
– Ender Wiggin, Ender’s Game

Wait a second…what life? Seriously, Redwood needs to get a life… a real life, like an academic one. Is it just me, or is life here really, really lame. Okay, its probably just me. But, I think I do have a point. Everything here is really boring, except for yearbook which just scares me. I mean, we never do anything interesting! Practically field trips, and the ones we do go on are like, just, null fun. Who really wants to go to the Tech Museum again? We’ve all been there like, 12 times already. They never have any interesting IMAX films anyway. Next to that, all the academic work is either retarded, or easy. Everything we learn in class is the same we learn from the textbook. I mean, who really needs school? The only benefit is being around your friends. The academic content of the classes is null, give or take -13 IQ points.
We seriously never do anything interesting, except, again, in yearbook which is just a scary class. We never learn real world stuff, the teachers never listen to the students. The teachers don’t really care about us, except to make us cry, and any fun we have in class is nulled by the context of the fun itself. I mean, most teachers don’t have any regard for us students as intelligent life-forms. They treat us like 3 year-olds! Half of the geniuses on campus are like, bored to death.
Here is the perfect example. Let’s go through my schedule, even though I rarely follow it… (at this point the author would like to remind the reader that all contents of this e-paper are confidential and are not to be shared elsewhere. Violators will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. All rights reserved, copyright© 2004, “he who shall not be named, for his own safety from whoever he decides to diss in this essay”.)  
1st period: Mr Diehl, Advanced Math. He tells stupid jokes and expects us to laugh. He sympathizes with the stupid par t of the class and not the smart part. He always says stupid stuff like: “This is easy, even I can do it!”, or “Smile, its just math!” He gets me soooo pissed off!  Also, he tells us all these random facts nobody cares about, and plays freaky music while we work, thinking it will help us concentrate, when in reality, it only brings him enjoyment and our mental anguish. He also tries to force his political views on his students by constantly dissing Bush whenever the opportunity presents itself. He says he’s not, but that’s like saying Mr. Murdock’s not a perv.
Next, Mrs. Yakulis, Science. She also treats us like 3 year-olds, and thinks we’re all stupid and can’t think when 1/3 of us can do it better than she does. She has no consideration for her students and constantly belittles us based on her pre-mis-conception about us. She assigns us homework and then doesn’t tell us she did so. She thinks we’re actually interested when, in reality, we just hopes she’ll shut up soon. I think that teaching for so long has made her delirious and she always seems to be blaming the students and never herself.
Enough about her, next stop, Greene, Core. She treats us like children and calls people “sweetie” and, “honey”. She shrugs and says, “Sorry, I’m a mom.” She thinks we actually like Core and the movies she shows. She sympathizes with the stupid people and don’t give the geniuses the recognition they deserve. I.e. you know how well me and Justin write! On the last essay, he got a 90, and I got a 92! How warped is that? She graded entirely on grammatical errors and not on length/content. She said we needed an intro, 2 body paragraphs, and an outro. I wrote a 2000 word essay and she hammered me for my style and grammar. Like, literally hammered. She gave no responses on style and content. She didn’t even teach us how she wanted us to write! Though, she is the best out of the three I’ve just mentioned. If I had Diehl for core, I’d die… SERIOUSLY!
A “small” side note on my Core experience: The teacher spends a little over half the year on maternity leave. In the mean time, we run rampant all over the Redwood campus. J/k, we have a sub, Mr. Nichols who was a very interesting teacher and was a intellectualist. Even though you probably don’t know what that means, you get the feeling. I was one of 5 or so best students, among which were: Justin Huang, Yang Hong, Gabriela Perez, and Stephanie Hata. So he was a fairly interesting teacher who graded on intellectual activity and philosophical content. He never gave homework either! Next, Mrs. DeCaporale comes back for 4 days or so. Then she doesn’t come back. Period. We have subs for the next two weeks while they pick a new teacher. Tada! It turns out to be Ms. Green. Whooooppeeeee…
Okay, now the next period is my favorite on of all time. No, not yearbook! I’m talking about LUNCH! Get to eat, have fun, relax get away from Mr. Diehl’s murderous psycho attitude, and just have a good time. Sadly, this doesn’t last as long as I hope it would, cause soon, it’s all over and I’m stuck in homeroom.
Homeroom, Mr. Martin. This is the one class you’ll never be able to fall asleep in, cause If you do, you’re DEAD!  Okay, watch out for this guy. He’s bent on teaching us. Yes, teaching! He actually tries to make us learn! Like, he actually asks questions and tries to make us do mental work. He’s like a real psycho and he does nothing but stay in his room all day and plan evil things for his poor students like the newly implemented weekly essay assignments.
Thank god homeroom only lasts a short time. Next is yearbook… Crap! It’s the same guy! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Okay, take deep breaths and try not to turn purple… This is Mr. Martin, slave driver for the yearbook class. You do nothing but play all day and then he yells at you for not finishing. This guys treats us like young adults and his psycho attitude like, just totally, freaks me out!
So we move on to my next class, video, where I’m Mr. Havercroft’s TA. He’s got a sense of humor, but he’s pretty negative and he make some rude comments sometimes. He makes fun of his students and constantly belittles them for the slightest fault. He’s a strict guy and has a pretty short temper. It’s not easy being around him all the time. I really don’t like that class much…
Lastly, P.E. Vandenberg. What can I say? It’s P.E. their job is to wear us out. I just hate all the goof-offs who screw up our class and piss off the Ms. V. Who in turn make us run. I don’t really like P.E. a whole lot…
So my essay so far totals up to about 2600 words, but I’m not even close to being done. I still have to review my 6th & 7th grade years, so hang tight!
Now 7th grade… hmmm… I loved 7th grade! It was so easy! I also happened to b e too young and naïve at that time to think anything worse. The work was easy and I had a good time. Let’s see if I can recall my schedule…
1st period I had my elective which I poorly chose. I had Art the first semester which turned out to be an absolute disaster. Mrs. Pierce the art teacher assigned really weird art for us to imitate. We had Kadinsky, which was abstract, this guy who drew naked women in Tahiti, Buddhist art, still art and humanoid robots. It was just really boring. The portfolios we had kept falling apart and the art we did was just not “art”. Some artists were okay, but she just chose really weird subjects for us to imitate but not to learn from. We didn’t really learn much in that class and the teacher was always mad at us.
2nd period was the start of core, the best class ever. Mrs. Hinkle was an excellent teacher. She’s a veteran, and she had a good system and knew how to make lessons interesting and exciting. She also had something called PAT which was Preffered Activity Time which we could have some free time once a week. We went through the first LoTR and halfway through the second as well as some really fun games. She taught very well and the lesson plans never seemed to bore us like they do today. Then again, maybe that was a lot for our simple minds to take in and it was the best we could imagine.
5 period: remember Core used to be 3 periods long contributing to the fact that you had to make the lesson interesting or terrible things would happen. In science, my teacher Mrs. Inlow did a good job of entertaining us. The class wasn’t exactly easy, but at least it was interesting. She also sparked up class time with her unique sense of humor. Can you believe she called us… I can’t even remember it… can I use a lifeline? Never mind, it was chimichangas. Anyway, she was the second best science teacher I’ve had.
6 period was math: pre-algebra. Ms. Stanely was just weird. Kinda like Mr. Diehl but on the feminist side. A nightmare for the casual math student. She was just scary. The things she said I can’t even type out on paper. Actually, that’s because she said them in such ridiculous tones there’s no syntax equally strange to symbolize it… Ughhh… shiver… okay enough about math…
7th period is P.E. the only complaint is the sun. Yes, 7th period is so @#$%ing hot! I hate having P.E. 7th period! Ugh… Not much to say except: curse you! Damn sun!
Okay, so maybe all this typing is making me tempermental, but actually 7th grade was one of the happier times in my life. Except for my B+ in math of course… Yeah, I don’t really like to talk about that… 7th grade, arguably was my happiest year here at Redwood. It seems that the sevies have it easy because it is the time in their life where there is the maximum difference between their intelligence and the curriculum. Afterwards, it just decreases exponentially. Kinda like a bell curve with seventh grade in the middle.
So, it all rests on my sixth grade experience to determine the overall negativity or positivity of my middle school years. Well, let’s keep going, there’s only 3 pages left…
Okay, let me put it to you very, very simply… 6th grade sucks… balls… like a… HOOVER! Okay, so maybe I’m over exaggerating, but I really hated 6th grade. It may be hard to envision, or for some people, extremely easy, that I was actually a B student back then. I had mostly B’s with the occasional A here and there. The problem was, I didn’t care whatsoever. I had no interest in school, I thought it was hard and boring, I was not very hard-working, and just plain sucked.
First period was math 6A which was extremely boring. The teacher was Mrs. Spence who was on one of those maternity leaves. I had subs like the first semester of math. Math was soooo boring. I’m not kidding. I was stupid, and the curriculum was just boring… Yeah, you get the point don’t you. I spent all my time in class drawing. I barely passed with a B+. Yeah…
Okay, then I think I had like, science with Mr. Robertson, who was one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. He was funny, made the curriculum interesting, and taught very well. He treated us like mature adults. The homework was easy, I caught on extremely quickly and had a great interest in science. Anyway, I passed with an A.
So I also had exploratory with various teachers which got to be pretty confusing after a while. It was like: “Wait, can you say that again I didn’t hear that fourth time.”, or “Hey, didn’t I take that class already? So I had a boring time in exploratory. Then again, I was just a sixth grader…
Core was dull. Very dull I might add. We did History and Language Arts for 3 periods straight. Can you believe that? I spent the entire class period reading a novel of some sort. It was pretty interesting that way. I had Mrs. Thompson, a new teacher. She had a faulty system, and was one of those Texan extremist. By now you know I tend to over exaggerate, so you probably ignored that comment. Anyway, (I say that a lot huh?) it was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, (I typed all that without touching Ctrl) boring. Okay, so you get the point.
I had P.E. with Mrs. Vandenberg and this is the only class I don’t have anything to actually say about except: I had this class 2nd period. It was soo cool. No sun… YES!
Okay, I think that’s it, but I may be missing something… Anyway, let’s get on with it. Overall, I think Redwood was a fairly interesting experience. It’s a very interesting jump from 5th grade to 6th. The campus life at middle school is vastly different as with the social hierarchy. From the top in the school, they go to the “little” sixies that can get pushed around. Sixth grade is a period of confusion as children begin to grow into teens and develop and mature both mentally and physically. Even though vastly different from elementary, high school in turn, is also vastly different from middle school, although the chasm is not as wide. Let us not speak of college because for all we know, some of us may not be going there…

Uh… I feel kinda bad leaving all this space here…

Man… I wish I could write more…

This is kinda dull…

I wish we had better essay topics…

Did I tell you that I’m reading 1984 and Brave New World?

Hmmmmm…

Wasting space…

Man…

Jeez…

Ugh…

Wind…

SFX: BOOM! BAM! ROAR! BANG! RAAAAAAA!!!!








Epilogue: No more pavement (how sad…)

Yep. I finally ended the damn essay. I was actually joking about the extra three pages. This is my last page… I don’t really know what to say… This was an okay essay topic but an even worse essay. I think maybe I should cut down on the profanity huh? I try to write more arbitrarily structured essays, but this forced me into a more systematic fashion of writing. I… Hmmm… I don’t know… My mind is blank… It’s almost 9:30 according to my computer. Life is so quick. I’m already in 8th grade. Next thing you know, I’ll find myself failing high school in my junior year. I always wanted to be a genius you know… But then again, who doesn’t want to? I feel… Hmm… I’m running out of good ideas… Ugh…
I feel to say some things:

“I understand HOW: I do not understand WHY.”
“WAR IS PEACE/FREEDOM IS SLAVERY/IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.”
“Thoughtcrime does not entail death: Thoughtcrime is death.”
-1984, George Orwell

“Life is like an Endless Waltz… The 3 beats of love, war, and peace go on forever…”
-Gundam Wing, Endless Waltz

ANALYSIS:
Words: 4220
Characters: 18465
Characters w/spaces: 22647
Lines: 420
Paragraphs: 90
Pages: 10